Crossroads

So I guess the first of January is a good a time as any to reinvigorate my blogging. I'm stuck at a crossroads. Don't know in which direction I'm headed right now. I have goals but they seem so far away when my life is on hold.

I moved back home with my parents in August last year. Not because I was broke or jobless but because my Mum hasn't been well. She has many health problems which has meant that she needs constant care from my Dad and he was starting to become overwhelmed. So I swooped in to save the day.

Only I couldn't save the day. I crumbled under the pressure. I became stressed out, working full-time, then coming home to pick up the pieces after Mum's daily meltdowns. I became more and more dysfunctional. Living in a disorganised, messy house amongst Mum's boxes of goods and chattels, losing myself in the chaos. My normal orderly routine fell to shit. No longer paying bills on time, withdrawing from friends, all I did was work and look after Mum.

Well almost. I had one saving grace. Bootcamp. Thank fuck for boot camp. Three sparrow's fart sessions a week got me through 2012. I went religiously from March all the way through to December. Classes have stopped for 3 weeks over the Xmas period but my boot campees and I have still been doing it by ourselves, with our trainer's voice ringing in our ears as if he was there:

"You got this, Lizz. Keep going. Ten, nine, eight..."

I would have gone insane if it wasn't for boot camp. And my best friend. And meditation. And Zoloft. And massages once a month. And good coffee.

So that's what I'm thankful for in 2012. And a supportive family who have all banded together to help Mum and work out what is in her best interests. It's been a hard bumpy road and it's not over but thank you to all my saving graces.

Lizz ox